Follow Me On My Journey

After a horrible time with my liver biopsy 3 weeks ago, we learned my liver was fine. This was after I had 3 liters tapped out of my abdomen and it was all bloody, showing a bleed from my liver into my abdomen. I ended up spending two nights in the ICU and one on the liver floor before leaving. We were so very lucky to get home before Hurricane Irene hit hard. Also my liver is fine!! Whew! This does however mean that my heart is not :(. The doctors have tried all the diuretics and still I fill up. In fact this coming Thursday, I will have my 5th tap or parasentesis (sp?) since April. I'm not even nervous about it, which is sort of sick, because I've been so uncomfortable, especially at night that I'll do anything to feel some relief! Since the regime of trying different doses and different diuretics and constant belly taps is not an option for the rest of my life, my doctor is cautiously moving ahead. Next week I begin some testing for an evaluation for the Heart Transplant...

One of my goals for the week was for me to journal at least once. I'm going to start an addition to my blog labels, it will be called "So Andrew..." This is the first one. So Andrew, you passed 8 weeks ago today. When I think about the where I was this moment and 10:09, and I was crying right after I screamed on the kitchen floor. I kept saying, "It's time to wake up now, it's time to wake up". Well I have finally started to sleep through the night and when I see you in my dreams I get so excited because it feels so real. The other night I made sure it was you by touching you, and when I woke up my hand was squeezing Rocket. I could not breathe again. Every time I think about why you are not here I wish we could go back in time, and I could take care of you and help. I know you would not have let me or any of us help. But still, if I could take back the fight. I want you to know so much! It's 8 weeks later, and I still cry at the drop of a h...