Follow Me On My Journey

This has been a powerful week of positives and negatives. As a sensitive and logical Aquarian, the negatives in life over shadow the amazing positive aspects of the last three days. The only negative that really counts is my brother's 5th Yarhzeit. It's completely crazy how I still expect to see him pop up and how I dream about him. I guess I always will and that's what keeps him alive for me. If he could yell at me again I'd be happy. Odd thing to say, but it's life and that's the truth!! Changing gears to the weekly positive. Monday,  I got even more awesome news from my cardiologist. He's letting me slide on visiting. He'll see me in 4 months. That's huge, it's epic for me. He wants me to go and do what makes me happy and even though he's not heard me sing he suggested music. Aha the theme of the night.  This is very exciting and much anticipated news. With all the scares lately I feel I need a Happy 101 class. But my nerves will

            In 2013 I took many chances, the best was the one of a lifetime.   Not everyone was behind me on this decision at this time in my life, I was fighting a horrible cold and had just started a new job, and so my voice was pretty hoarse.   However, being my go-getter attitude I thought if I don’t take this chance I would be doing the ACHA and myself a disservice.   I practiced, rehearsed, changed my song two weeks before, and figured out the 90 seconds allotted, and with help picked out my outfit the night before.             At 6:00am on November 17th my alarm went off, though I was already awake.   I felt like a five year old getting ready for her birthday party on the day of her birthday and putting on the paper crown.   Feeling like a princess knowing something incredible is about to happen and it will be like no other day before or af...

This year was a hard one for my family. This year was not as hard as last year was, however, hard and emotional in different ways. I feel as if this year, I am the one who fought for my life. No one died. I did not have to eulogize anyone, Thank G-d! However, as stated in the title, I have been sick for almost a full year. It started in February, with a weight loss, but I eat healthy so I thought nothing of it. A month later in March, my belly started to fill up like never before. I began to look pregnant. I had migraines daily, and my belly got so big that my belly button inverted. I am not able or advised to have a baby so this was extra hard! Because I'm strong, and perform, I made up a clever story about my 'pseudo baby' as it was easier than telling people I was in heart failure and the doctors were fighting over whether it was my liver or my heart. This went on for 6 months. I had multiple belly taps, and the fluid, called ascites, would come back literally within...

I went to the GLEE Concert tonight! And I am forever a singer through and through!! I will elaborate more in the morning after my workout. But singing is the absolute core of my being. It's who I am and what I live for. I feel that it's a positive way to express my feelings, even the unhappy, scary ones.

I am going to the cardiologist tomorrow morning and I'm really hoping I like what he has to say! Nevertheless, I am remembering the progress and the lesson from last week. Strength! I will certainly be wearing my bracelet :) I just hope there is a simple reason why my belly has been so round lately, especially since I've been exercising daily for two weeks. My weight has fluctuated a few pounds but the roundness has stayed the same. Any cardiac patient knows this can be a bad thing. I will have my I Tunes with me this time and listen to my two all time favorite singers Ann Hampton Callaway and Liz Callaway. Music is one of the greatest soothing modalities out there. And for the most part I have been fortunate to be allowed to have it with me. Even if the performers never know how meaningful their music is in the tense moments of waiting rooms. Music still fills me with a sense of Hope and joy.

Ann Hampton Callaway an Amazing singer, songwriter!!! Tells her Face book friends to let them know when they are going to her show so she can give them preferred seating. I email saying I was going tonight at 9:00. Great she tells me, I reserved a preferred seat for you. The bill comes and my seat was compt . Complimentary on her. The Red Dress pin I brought for her hardly compares. I am in shock and awe!! More than that she read my article and asks if I'm going to write a book or how about a song. And offers to help me with that?? Well by now I'm having verbal diarrhea because I can't believe that this situation is Actually happening to me!! I mean, I keep singing how I need a little help and a miracle and OMG are you for real? I'm still pinching myself. Even if it goes there, the sentiment and the compt seat were the best things ever from a musician I admire so much!! xoxo - Pinching myself that this was not a dream. I hope everyone has such an exciti...

Tonight I went to see two of my favorite performers. I sit in the club and I listen with all of my senses fully aware of what's happening. I am never more alive as when I am in an audience watching a performance by someone I really like. It is almost like a religious experience. All of my senses are heightened and I feel that for a split second anything in the world possible. It's as if I'm three years old and I am seeing the movie Annie all over again. I want to do this more than anything in the world. I want it so bad I don't even breathe while they are singing. I come home all high and gitty. My mind starts to scheme, how can I do that? What do I have to do to be that good? I want to do for others what the performer has just done for me . I recently tasted how good this can be with my performance at the Duplex. I could feel a few moments where I actually had the crowd. I was so to speak "Working It". I got caught up in the emotions of the words, the moment...