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Happy Birthday Sentement

To quote my favorite show Wicked, "Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game, too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap!" Have my instincts for the past 31 years been that bad? Am I living in a ditch? No I'm doing what everyone thought I would not be able to do, hold a job and an apartment. I've beat the odds in the past, I'm not going to wuss out now! Now is the time to put on my "Wonder Woman" attire and kick butt! My life is in my hands and my destiny is my own! I can make it whatever I want from here on out. I was raised to know right from wrong and good from bad, and along the way I learned what was good for someone else might be bad for me and vicea versa, no shame in that. I'm going to fight to get all of my will back and work hard to be a happier more self-fulfilled less stressed, Ellie. I'll go it alone (with my family's support) until Mr. You know Who comes along. ;)

If I have to give up things to have peace of mind in the end then I vow to do that. No one tells you when you are a kid that as a grown up things are rough and you have to make sacrafices all the time. The only things I can't sacrafice are my health and my happiness. I've fought too hard to have my health compromised and I'll knock over anyone who doesn't believe my symptoms are real, because I've been that route before Mr., and it wasn't pretty. In fact it was down right horryifiing!!

We have to remember as professionals that inside we are all still humans with imperfections and try as we might, we will not get it right 100% of the time. As long as we enjoy the ride and the thrill of it and can find a redemable quality in each day than we are doing it for the greater good. Money does not bring happiness only more problems. I've stated before I hate money and it's as evil as it is good.

With a clean slate and a new year of my life about to start I'm going to working on what makes me happy whether it pleases others or not. Remember at the end of the day we are the ones who have to live with our choices/decisions and we have to be able to look at our selves in the mirror. When one is unhappy with themselves they don't even go near a mirror. So follow your heart, and your dreams however wild and ridiculous they may by. If they are right for you, than you will find a way to make them work out in the end.

Cheers to another year of life!! :)
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