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"Kicking Ass and Taking Names"

I put quotes around "Kicking Ass and Taking Names" because it is something a great friend of mine always says. I am not taking other people's bull anymore. That is it for Mrs. Nice Girl and taking empty promises. So if you do that to me, expect that you are not going to be part of my positive life style.

 I have learned a lot about people and friendships while I was in the hospital. I had time to think about friends and family. Friends are the family that you choose for yourself. Nevertheless, when those members start to treat you lousy, you are not obligated to keep them. Do not keep things that bring you down, or make you feel bad about yourself! Stay positive and light and you will be happier.

 Family is blood and you may disagree or even hate them, but you stick by them because they are your family. They unlike toxic 'friends' will be there no matter what. When your friends are not there for you, you know they are not true friends, and perhaps it is time to just brush yourself off and move on, no matter how much it hurts.

Friendships move on and people change, so it is ok for us to move on too! Start fresh, branch out to new people or reconnect with old friends. What's right as far as friendship will eventually work its way out in the end, even if that is years from today.

No matter what my family does, I will still love and forgive them. I will always forgive a friend if they apologize, because I know the value of life and it is too short for grudges, and negative energy. The worst negative energy is the one brought on by you. However, I will not apologize for my feelings in the matter. I will only apologize for my wrong doings, misunderstandings and my way of over analyzing everything, (both strength and a weakness of mine). Your feelings are your own. They make you unique, and do not apologize for them!

I have thought a lot about the people who have been there for me over the last two years. The people that I thought would have been there for me used it as a time to pull away rather than come closer. Therefore, I am not obligated to owe them anything. I have further been used and abused because I am sweet, caring and was extremely vulnerable during this period.

After hours, days, months of thinking, I decided that it was worse to lose my brother than to almost lose myself! Therefore, now that I have yet another lease on life, I have to figure out why I am here, and to best utilize this purpose. For now, my purpose is graduate school, which will lead to financial independence. Another purpose is to stand up for those who cannot do that for themselves and pray for a miracle to get me started.

I have made many new friends who stick by me more than my old friends. Finally yet importantly, I need to surround myself with those that care about me, the way I care about them!

If you know me at all this is not harsh it is the cold hard truth. The truth is something I have always believed in.
I do not give peoplethe run-around or use them to fit my need on a day-to-day or year-to-year basis. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. Please notice I do not mention names here as I am not singling anyone out.  However, if you feel guilty at all while reading this, than it probably applies to you.

Cheers to true friendship! :)

xoxo Always, Ellen <3 <3

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