Skip to main content

So What!

So what is all of this for? We work so hard to be happy even if we are not. We put on appearances and rarely show our true selves for fear of what others might think. Today I put in quite a workout, so I can feel better about myself and people will think I'm attractive. Seriously it's only like 6 pounds I gained from the change in meds. But when the old jeans don't fit, you start to travel down that path of why do I always watch what I eat when an outside factor makes it a mute point in the first place? I'm just venting because I thought in light of my latest heartache I would have heard from and been supported by more of my friends. Every time I get sick I learn More and more whom I can really count on. And that leaves almost no one, and in the end who gives a shit, Doctors "help us" but at some point and in some fashion we are all going to die anyway. So not to be depressing or cynical but to be a realist, I ask again "So What is the Point"?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New Friends and Bonds

There are these thoughts and innate feelings. I have as a person with a CHD (congenital heart defect). I am learning that a lot of other CHD'ers as we are called or now Adult CHD'ers feel the same way. I have primarily heard this from woman. Nevertheless, the men too often wonder when the other shoe will drop. I for one go about my life as fully as I can. However, when the lights go out, that is when the worry starts to happen, and I can almost predict, how and when the other shoe will drop. I have predicted it accurately a few times, which is what makes this last bout so difficult. I knew something was wrong with my heart and my body, but did not know what. I spent months in fear, and trying to go about my life was difficult, to say the least. (That however is for another post). It is the fact that all CHD patients have this ability to know when the good is good. When the bad will get worse, and when the good is temporary. Part of that comes from our physicians, but a la...
4 comments
Read more

How Sick I Was For Almost a Year

This year was a hard one for my family. This year was not as hard as last year was, however, hard and emotional in different ways. I feel as if this year, I am the one who fought for my life. No one died. I did not have to eulogize anyone, Thank G-d! However, as stated in the title, I have been sick for almost a full year. It started in February, with a weight loss, but I eat healthy so I thought nothing of it. A month later in March, my belly started to fill up like never before. I began to look pregnant. I had migraines daily, and my belly got so big that my belly button inverted. I am not able or advised to have a baby so this was extra hard! Because I'm strong, and perform, I made up a clever story about my 'pseudo baby' as it was easier than telling people I was in heart failure and the doctors were fighting over whether it was my liver or my heart. This went on for 6 months. I had multiple belly taps, and the fluid, called ascites, would come back literally within...
4 comments
Read more

The Chance of A Lifetime

            In 2013 I took many chances, the best was the one of a lifetime.   Not everyone was behind me on this decision at this time in my life, I was fighting a horrible cold and had just started a new job, and so my voice was pretty hoarse.   However, being my go-getter attitude I thought if I don’t take this chance I would be doing the ACHA and myself a disservice.   I practiced, rehearsed, changed my song two weeks before, and figured out the 90 seconds allotted, and with help picked out my outfit the night before.             At 6:00am on November 17th my alarm went off, though I was already awake.   I felt like a five year old getting ready for her birthday party on the day of her birthday and putting on the paper crown.   Feeling like a princess knowing something incredible is about to happen and it will be like no other day before or af...
2 comments
Read more