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Showing posts from March, 2010

Radical Acceptance

I feel so anxious right now. I just called my boss and left him a voice mail saying that I would be needing to take a leave of absence from school for the rest of the year. I have this sense of guilt, but it's strange because of the tools I learned I am trying to manage these emotions, rather than let them get the best of me. I thought somehow that I would feel relieved and I may in a day or two. I think that everything that has happened over the past month is starting to sink in. This phone call was the thing that has allowed me to start the process of 'Radical Acceptance', and in an emotional way that hurts too!

The positive is that I made the call in a timely manner, I did not procrastinate on it and have offered to tie up loose ends with my students, like saying good bye. I may not be allowed to do the latter but I offered while still putting me first in order to continue my process of recovery. So I will congratulate myself on this little achievement and let the guilt …

A Story of a Brave Little Girl

There once was a little baby girl born with a sick heart. Little light blue fingers, lips and toes. She was cute and loved by almost all. Relatives either were drawn in by her big eyes, gentle manor and laugh or they were afraid of her in fear of "breaking her".

With all the love and support anyone could wish for, life was extremely rough and trying. The best analogy she could make was that it resembled running on a track with hurdles, where each one is significantly higher than the one before.

One time she tripped and stumbled over the hurdle. In her mind's eye it seemed to be the highest hurdle yet. This was a blow she did not know if she could recover from. All of her smarts and good sense of humor could not pull her out of the black whole that seemed to be sucking her down.

It was like the tornado scene in The Wizard of Oz and it was literally sucking the life out of her. Turning her blacker and blacker. Her head…