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Showing posts from December, 2011

Happy New Year!

Remember the true meaning of Love and Life.  Tomorrow is just another Day! Resolutions are silly.  They are really just changes in our behavior.  You can start them any time.  No one says Jan.1 is the only time to start. In my status I stated that I would not take other's nonsense (crap) because it's negative.  Well I have not for a few months now, and have been trying to let go of the lies and empty promises I've been fed.  If people do that to you, they are no longer your friend.  If they are not there for you when the chips are really down, reevaluate and move on.  People change and that's just the way it works, no matter the pain.
I am done apologizing for voicing my feelings and opinions to others whom I feel have upset me. (This is a general and true statement, not directed to anyone who's going to read this).
I know when I have done something wrong and when I have not.  The moment I realize I have done something wrong, usually unintentionally I instantly own u…

I Am Not Afraid!

I wrote recently that I am afraid all the time. I am afraid of when I will get sick again! I have been afraid that my dreams of singing, writing, and public speaking will not come true. These are all stupid things to fear. Why do I say that? I cannot control when and if I will get sick again. I have been through almost everything at this point that I am stronger than I was before this last bout. Why worry about what I cannot control? That is a lot of wasted time and energy, leading to sadness and exhaustion.

Secondly, I am the only one who can control my dreams coming true. I can ask for help and input; however, no one can do the research, writing, speaking and singing for me. All of these give me such joy and a positive way to help others and myself. When thinking about the big picture, these are overwhelming tasks, with all the talent out there. However, who is to say that someone will not find talent in me? I can pursue these ambitions while pursuing my career. They light me up ins…

Promises, Promises...

I'm an extremely honest and loyal person, whether, I'm your relative, or friend, or co-worker or acquaintance.  However, I can't help but be upset when people make promises and don't keep them.  Everyone has growth to do.  This is a part of me that need to work on so I can grow past it and not feel let down, when people don't follow through.  I think for me it is just that I work so hard at everything in my life I don't give myself a break and expect the same from others.  I also want everyone to like me, but I think that that's just natural.  I'm growing out of that because there are people who I am not fond of so everyone does not need to be fond of me.

Does this actually make me a bad person?

Stay Tuned...

In my last blog, I asked if I should start a Face Book fan page or group.  Both got a nice reception.  A friend actually laid out a page for me to use as a fan page.  So stay tuned because I want to hear everyone's journey's through life and how everyone handles it all.  Sometimes an ear from an unexpecting friend is all that's needed to change your outlook.

I will continue to follow my dreams on this site but will also start to do so on Face Book through the help of my friends. 

All the best!! El <3

How Sick I Was For Almost a Year

This year was a hard one for my family. This year was not as hard as last year was, however, hard and emotional in different ways. I feel as if this year, I am the one who fought for my life. No one died. I did not have to eulogize anyone, Thank G-d!

However, as stated in the title, I have been sick for almost a full year. It started in February, with a weight loss, but I eat healthy so I thought nothing of it. A month later in March, my belly started to fill up like never before. I began to look pregnant. I had migraines daily, and my belly got so big that my belly button inverted. I am not able or advised to have a baby so this was extra hard!

Because I'm strong, and perform, I made up a clever story about my 'pseudo baby' as it was easier than telling people I was in heart failure and the doctors were fighting over whether it was my liver or my heart. This went on for 6 months. I had multiple belly taps, and the fluid, called ascites, would come back literally within mi…