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An Open Birthday Card to My Big Brother

Nov. 19, 2017

Dear Andrew,

This year I decided to write you a birthday card.  My boyfriend Ian, whom I've been with over a year and who I think you would like asked, "So do you guys give Andrew birthday cards?" My response was "No, we just don't." Ian then asked "Do you have a cake for him, because I want to honor him how you guys do. Would it be OK if I bought an ice cream for him to have at your mom's house after dinner on Sunday." (Yes, it's Sunday, November 19, 2017.)  See I told you, you would like him.  He's all about wanting to have ice cream cake. Oh, wait that's why does David likes him.  But enough about the ice cream cake that we are not having, or the cards, gifts,  and candles that we no longer do on your birthday.  Instead we go to Rick's and reminisce about the time we were lucky to h…
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A YEAR WITHOUT MUSIC!

A YEAR WITHOUT MUSIC!
This memory could not be more timely. April 5,2016 i had a major stroke. This Wednesday will be one year since my stroke. For the first 2 months all I could say to people was "I had a stroke" which sounded like stwoke. Music had not even occurred to me as I had many complications that were not directly associated with my stroke.
But why am I sharing all of this information with you, is because the part of my brain that was affected or is it effected? Was language. I planned to sit down today at my computer which us still hard for me to do texting us easier with my right hand weakness. Oh I forgot to mention that I was temporary paralyzed on on right side for 24-48 hours. But "I had a stroke".

I would have to l this year as a year without music. Couldn't recall what I'd forgotten and then sobbed when I remembered what I forgot without remembering the music, show, favorite singers... you name, I was like a blank slate. (Siri)-is siting he…

Much Anticipated News Outweighs Weeks Shortcomings

This has been a powerful week of positives and negatives. As a sensitive and logical Aquarian, the negatives in life over shadow the amazing positive aspects of the last three days. The only negative that really counts is my brother's 5th Yarhzeit. It's completely crazy how I still expect to see him pop up and how I dream about him. I guess I always will and that's what keeps him alive for me. If he could yell at me again I'd be happy. Odd thing to say, but it's life and that's the truth!!

Changing gears to the weekly positive. Monday,  I got even more awesome news from my cardiologist. He's letting me slide on visiting. He'll see me in 4 months. That's huge, it's epic for me. He wants me to go and do what makes me happy and even though he's not heard me sing he suggested music. Aha the theme of the night.  This is very exciting and much anticipated news.

With all the scares lately I feel I need a Happy 101 class. But my nerves will

Beginner Morning Yoga Sequence for Greatist (15-min)

I'm doing the 28 day #Wanderlust #RunYogaMeditate along with the 28 day #LemonWaterChallenge.  Today was day 2, I like the fresh squeezed glass of lemon water first thing in the morning (what could be bad? Really?) Today was first day of yoga, and only for 15 minutes.  ( I ask again...What could be bad with 15 minutes of your time)? This was a great morning beginner sequence.  Follow me on my blog for more updates @ http://ellenbrokenhearted.blogspot.com

The Chance of A Lifetime

In 2013 I took many chances, the best was the one of a lifetime.Not everyone was behind me on this decision at this time in my life, I was fighting a horrible cold and had just started a new job, and so my voice was pretty hoarse. However, being my go-getter attitude I thought if I don’t take this chance I would be doing the ACHA and myself a disservice.I practiced, rehearsed, changed my song two weeks before, and figured out the 90 seconds allotted, and with help picked out my outfit the night before.
At 6:00am on November 17th my alarm went off, though I was already awake.I felt like a five year old getting ready for her birthday party on the day of her birthday and putting on the paper crown.Feeling like a princess knowing something incredible is about to happen and it will be like no other day before or after.I crept downstairs made my tea concoction and began to get ready.Everything was packed and organized a new mug of tea in hand and I was in the car.Singing my heart out as if m…

What It Really Feels Like

What does it really feel like to have a CHD? Well not great all the time. There's constant let down in life as doctors figure out how to treat us adults. There is a lot of trial and error medically based which is why I say I'm in 'Generation Guinea Pig'! My first memory was my mom changing my younger brother's diaper and telling me that when we got back home from vacation I was going for a cardiac cath. So I'm 4 1/2 years old. I don't recall crying which I was told I did but I already knew what a cath was it wasn't new to me. Neither was my addiction to Annie the Musical, my mothers voice or my desire to sing like them be on stage and be a mommy when I grew up. I wanted to sing and be a mom as a grown up and of course I'd have a cute husband.
When mom, David and I walked to the beach my father was there with Andrew who was just told about my going to the hospital too. In those days we were pals and he found me a sea shell- my favorite. 

31 years later…

Returning to Kindergarten

I am reminded of a life lesson that I think we all know. No matter what is going on, transitions in life and changes in our daily schedules can be tough at first!  

Today, I returned to Kindergarten as a student teacher in my elementary school. It was a bit of an outer body experience. The people are different. There are lockers where there used to be cubbies and I'm tall compared to the students.  Tall for the first time of my life!  Ha ha. 

As I walked with the kids down the hall or to the staff lounge, I could not believe that the clip-clop of shoes I heard on the floor were attached to my child size feet. I instantly was filled with pride and forgot about the teachers and times I did not like. It was a Special Education teacher at this school who told me I'd never get into college or become anything. Well it was this statement that has propelled me to work harder than anyone else I knew!! 

Returning to your old school for Kindergarten is humbling and poignant at this time of …