Follow Me On My Journey

Ann Hampton Callaway an Amazing singer, songwriter!!! Tells her Face book friends to let them know when they are going to her show so she can give them preferred seating. I email saying I was going tonight at 9:00. Great she tells me, I reserved a preferred seat for you. The bill comes and my seat was compt . Complimentary on her. The Red Dress pin I brought for her hardly compares. I am in shock and awe!! More than that she read my article and asks if I'm going to write a book or how about a song. And offers to help me with that?? Well by now I'm having verbal diarrhea because I can't believe that this situation is Actually happening to me!! I mean, I keep singing how I need a little help and a miracle and OMG are you for real? I'm still pinching myself. Even if it goes there, the sentiment and the compt seat were the best things ever from a musician I admire so much!! xoxo - Pinching myself that this was not a dream. I hope everyone has such an exciti...

To quote my favorite show Wicked, "Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game, too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap!" Have my instincts for the past 31 years been that bad? Am I living in a ditch? No I'm doing what everyone thought I would not be able to do, hold a job and an apartment. I've beat the odds in the past, I'm not going to wuss out now! Now is the time to put on my "Wonder Woman" attire and kick butt! My life is in my hands and my destiny is my own! I can make it whatever I want from here on out. I was raised to know right from wrong and good from bad, and along the way I learned what was good for someone else might be bad for me and vicea versa, no shame in that. I'm going to fight to get all of my will back and work hard to be a happier more self-fulfilled less stresse...

I'm so unmotivated and have so much, I mean so very much to do. I don't mean only in the short term, I mean in my life. There are so many things that I have to do in my life. I have to record an album or two, I want so much to become famous and be on TV . I need to find what I truly love to do. I am so exhausted and miserable from grad school. I need to be done. Basically I feel like I need a miracle and a new start in life. To do all that I have to and all that I want to. even the daily basics are falling to the wayside. All I did today was sleep. I know my body must need it but for real? I just feel that I am suited to do so much more than I do in my day to day life. I have so much love to give and so much insight to share that I need to find the proper avenue for that. I also feel better without my meds some days. They make me feel funny andf add to my current symptoms of dizzyness, rapid heart beat. I'm trying to get excited for my birthday but since my life is NOTHING...

Sorry, I have not been feeling that inspirational lately, and therefore have not written. I don't know where my spark for inspiring has gone but at the moment I can't seem to find and I'm too tired to look for it. While I did no homework today after a long and disappointing day today. I did manage to make my first pot of real chicken noodle soup. So small victoriers. Early to be bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise! :\

It is so funny, how animals can change our outlook on life. You can be in a bad mood over the troubles of the world. You could feel the weight of your own world crashing down. or you could be on top of the world. Thinking things can't be better. Then you find your new cat curled up with the wireless computer mouse that you've been looking for. Suddenly everything around you disappears as you are melted by the sheer cuteness of the situation!

I'm starting to know what to do and what path to follow. More soon. xoxo-Ellen

What is going on? I am soo unbelievably exhausted! I have not felt this tired, slow and sluggish since before surgery 3 1/2 years ago. I'm sure it's just my mood and the fact that it's winter but I feel like crap. Winter always takes a toll on my body. I'm trying my best to be upbeat as there are a lot of great things happening in my life. I'm going to start recording in a few weeks. And I want to further my work in public speaking as a way to motivate people with health issues. I plan on taking on only what I have to do this week, until I start to feel more like my old self. I bought my mother a voicelesson the other day for her upcoming birthday. It is so special to have such a talented mother, she is such a beautiful woman both inside and out. I hope that when I am in her shoes I can possess such grace. Well s much as I would like to continue to type and sleep I have to put that off for a few more hours so I can get some work done for work tomorrow.